a misty saturday

today was a little strange, full of cold and wondering how to spend my weekend. I was rudily awoken by my intercom, i knew it would be a parcel delivery man who couldnt get into the flats they just buzz the first person on the enterence board. so annoying. I just curled back under my duvet reflecting on the crazy week i have just had. I decided to take a taxi into the shopping centre and wonder around, drink coffee then take a leisurely walk back through the park back home which gave me thinking time and reflect on issues. I love the park near me but really dont understand the sign no bikes or dogs off leads as I had to dodge the bikes and the scary dogs along my journey! eek i really dont like dogs. The day has been ok i guess and got some plans for the coming half term as disruption from my rountine causes me great stress for some reason i am yet to discover why! A chinese new year card from my ex carer in hull cheered me up some what. I feel slightly disturbed by a friend who contacted me wanting to meet up today i replied an hour later and she had already made other plans! quick work, or i am just being used as a distraction to her days and not a friend of any meaning? or am i over analzing again! I made a point of not contacting some friends as I was tired of it always being me doing the arranging and within a week of me disguising my decision with professionals, the people contacted me! oh i feel a little selfish but i live a very black and white life. Now my brain feels clear of clutter and i can have a more relaxing end to the day.

reality hits home

sometimes things are hard to deal with no matter how much people tell you, you can do it. The motivation has to come from within yourself. Finding your inner strength is the key to a happy life.