a misty saturday

today was a little strange, full of cold and wondering how to spend my weekend. I was rudily awoken by my intercom, i knew it would be a parcel delivery man who couldnt get into the flats they just buzz the first person on the enterence board. so annoying. I just curled back under my duvet reflecting on the crazy week i have just had. I decided to take a taxi into the shopping centre and wonder around, drink coffee then take a leisurely walk back through the park back home which gave me thinking time and reflect on issues. I love the park near me but really dont understand the sign no bikes or dogs off leads as I had to dodge the bikes and the scary dogs along my journey! eek i really dont like dogs. The day has been ok i guess and got some plans for the coming half term as disruption from my rountine causes me great stress for some reason i am yet to discover why! A chinese new year card from my ex carer in hull cheered me up some what. I feel slightly disturbed by a friend who contacted me wanting to meet up today i replied an hour later and she had already made other plans! quick work, or i am just being used as a distraction to her days and not a friend of any meaning? or am i over analzing again! I made a point of not contacting some friends as I was tired of it always being me doing the arranging and within a week of me disguising my decision with professionals, the people contacted me! oh i feel a little selfish but i live a very black and white life. Now my brain feels clear of clutter and i can have a more relaxing end to the day.